Your Divorce Advisor

TABLE OF CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER 1: THE LEGAL AND EMOTIONAL LANDSCAPE OF DIVORCE: A VIEW FROM THE SUMMIT

Beginning at the End
Overview of the Legal Process of Divorce
Emotional Guideposts for Divorce
- IF YOU INITIATED THE SEPARATION OR DIVORCE
- IF YOU ARE FACED WITH A SEPARATION OR DIVORCE YOU DID NOT WANT
- IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN AND ARE DIVORCING
- AS A FAMILY MEMBER OR FRIEND TO A DIVORCING PERSON

CHAPTER 2: PLANNING FOR SUCCESS: YOUR SUCCESS DEPENDS ON THE PATH YOU CHOOSE

The First Steps
- HOW DO I START THE LEGAL PROCESS?
- HOW COULD THIS BE HAPPENING TO OUR FAMILY?
- WHY ARE MY FEELINGS SO COMPLICATED?
- WHAT WILL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS THINK ABOUT ME?
The Next Steps
- WHAT SHOULD I DO BEFORE LEAVING?
- WHAT IF I CAN'T MOBILIZE MYSELF TO DO THIS PLANNING?
- Personal Assessment

CHAPTER 3: MAKING THE INTIAL DECISIONS: CHARTING YOUR OWN COURSE

Emotional Ramifications of Early Legal Decisions
- HOW DO I HANDLE THE CONFLICTS THAT ARISE BETWEEN US AS WE PREPARE TO DIVORCE?
Personal Assessment

CHAPTER 4: STEPS TO SUCCESS: TAKING EACH HILL ONE AT A TIME
(read an excerpt from this chapter)

Filing for Divorce
- DOES IT MAKE A DIFFERENCE WHO FILES FIRST?
Preparing Your Spouse to Receive Divorce Papers
How to Serve the Papers
The Mandatory Waiting Period
- WHAT ARE THE LEGAL ISSUES WE MUST SETTLE DURING THE WAITING PERIOD AND PRIOR TO THE DIVORCE?
Alimony
Property Division
Personal Property in All Jurisdictions
Assets
- HOW DO WE USE OUR ASSETS FOR MUTUAL BENEFIT?
- WHAT SHOULD WE DO ABOUT OUR HOUSE?
Tax Considerations
Fault
- WILL FAULT ISSUES IN THE DIVORCE IMPACT ASSET AND PROPERTY DIVISION EVEN IN "NO FAULT" DIVORCE?
- IF FAULT RARELY AFFECTS ASSET AND PROPERTY DISTRIBUTION IN COURT, WHAT ROLE DOES FAULT PLAY IN DIVORCE?
- WHAT WILL BE HAPPENING BETWEEN MY SPOUSE AND ME DURING THIS TIME?
Negotiating with Your Spouse: Skills and Tips
- HOW DO I MANAGE MY ANXIETY DURING THIS TIME?
- WHAT IF I HAVE SEX WITH MY SPOUSE?
- WHAT IF I WANT TO DATE SOMEONE NEW?
- WHAT DO I DO IF I WANT TO HAVE A CALMER, FRIENDLIER DIVORCE, BUT MY LAWYER HAS ADVISED ME TO BE TOUGHER?
Personal Assessment

CHAPTER 5: EVIDENCE AND PRETRIAL PROCEDURES: YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO PREPARED

CHAPTER 6: TRIALS: TAKING THE LONG, HARD ROUTE

CHAPTER 7: TAKING CARE OF MYSELF AND MY CHILDREN: HOW NOT TO GET LOST

The Decision to Separate
- HOW DO WE TELL THE CHILDREN?
- HOW WILL MY CHILDREN FEEL AND REACT?
- HOW CAN I BEST HELP MY CHILDREN DURING THIS EARLY STAGE OF DIVORCE?
- WILL MY CHILDREN BE OKAY IN A DIVORCED FAMILY?
Personal Assessment

CHAPTER 8: LEGAL AND RESIDENTIAL ARRANGEMENTS: FINDING FAMILIAR PATHS FOR YOUR FAMILY

WHAT ARE OUR LEGAL OPTIIONS FOR RAISING OUR CHILDREN AFTER DIVORCE?
Shared Parenting (Co-Parenting) Versus Custody
- WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS AND DRAWBACKS OF SHARED PARENTING?
- DO CHILDREN FARE BETTER IN SHARED PARENTING ARRANGEMENTS THAN IN MORE TRADITIONAL CUSTODY SITUATIONS?
Developing a Schedule for Living Arrangements <
- li> WHAT ARE THE MOST COMMON LIVING ARRANGEMENTS AND SCHEDULES ADOPTED BY DIVORCING PARENTS?
- ARE THERE ALTERNATIVES TO THE TYPICAL SHARED PARENTING PLANS?
- WHAT ARE THE RECOMMENDED SCHEDULES FOR CHILDREN OF DIFFERENT AGES?
Common Misperceptions in Thinking About Shared Parenting
- WHAT ARE THE NECESSARY ELEMENTS OF A PARENTING PLAN?
- WHAT IF WE CAN'T AGREE?
- WHAT DO I DO IF MY CHILD DOESN'T WANT TO VISIT?
- CAN I RELOCATE?
Where Child Support Fits In
- WHAT ARE CHILD SUPPORT GUIDELINES?
Child Support Versus Custody as a Financial Decision
Where Child Support is Spent
Personal Assessment

CHAPTER 9: CONTESTED CUSTODY CASES: HAZARDOUS TERRITORY AND LOOSE FOOTING

When to Consider a Custody Battle
Telling Your Children About Why You Are Involved in a Court Battle
The Special Features of a Contested Custody Case
- HOW DO I CHOOSE AN EVALUATOR?
- WHAT HAPPENS IN AN EVALUATION?
- WHAT ARE THE 'BEST INTERESTS' CRITERIA CONSIDERED IN AN EVALUATION?
- HOW DO I MAXIMIZE A SUCCESSFUL OUTCOME?
- WHAT CAN I EXPECT FROM EVALUATION RECOMMENDATIONS?
In the Event of a Trial
- HOW DO I HELP MY CHILDREN AT THIS STAGE?
- WHAT DO I DO IF I THINK MY SPOUSE HAS TURNED THE CHILDREN AGAINST ME?
Personal Assessment

CHAPTER 10: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND OTHER FORMS OF ABUSE: WHEN THE ROUTE IS REALLY DANGEROUS

Definitions of Violence
Patterns of Abusive Relationships
Setting Clear Boundaries for You and Your Children
When Your Children Are Involved and Affected
- WHAT IF MY CHILD HAS WITNESSED THE VIOLENCE?
Assessing and Acting When You Are at Risk
- HOW DO I RECOGNIZE WHETHER I AM AT RISK FOR MY PARTNER'S ABUSE OR ESCALATING VIOLENCE?
- WHAT DO I DO FIRST?
- WHAT CONSITUTES AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP AS FAR AS THE COURT IS CONCERNED?
Types of Protection Afforded by Law: Restraining Orders and Orders of Protection
- HOW SHOULD I PREPARE TO SUCCESSFULLY OBTAIN A TEMPORARY RESTRAINING ORDER?
- HOW DO I ENFORCE THE ORDERS WITH MY SPOUSE?
Both Men and Women Can Qualify for a Restraining Order
What the Order Can and Cannot Do For You
Children's Involvement in the Legal Process
- WHAT IF MY CHILD IS THE ONE BEING ABUSED?
- SHOULD ANY CHILD INVOLVED IN A VIOLENT FAMILY BE FORBIDDEN TO SEE THE OFFENDING PARENT?
- WHAT IF MY CHILDREN DON'T SEE IT MY WAY?
Emotional Blackmail of Children
Abduction
Personal Assessment

CHAPTER 11: LIFE AFTER DIVORCE: WHEN THE HORIZON BECKONS ANEW

CHAPTER 12: CONCLUSIONS: AT THE TOP OF THE SUMMIT